Please pray for me

I am taking a break from my plan of getting my kids up to speed on how we got to our current "place in time" to write about a powerful, yet awkward experience I had at church today.  There have been times in my life where I felt compelled to go forward after the sermon to ask for prayers, but today I really should have - I just didn't have the courage.

For a while now, our preacher has been delivering great lessons on the need for us to step out and move forward in order to do things we have never done before, including coming up with ways to grow the church and be a dynamic force in our community.  During the lesson this morning, the words to the song, Voice of Truth, kept playing over and over in my head.  This song is centered on the internal struggle to finally do what you know you are supposed to do, and the regret for not doing that deed.  The song is obviously playing on this page, but if you have never heard it, the first verse and chorus go like this:

Oh, what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes 
To climb out of this boat I'm in 
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown 
Where Jesus is, 
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name 
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times 
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me 
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, 
You you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

What always strikes me when I hear that first verse is this:  There were several great men in that boat that night, yet only one had the courage and faith to actually get out of that boat.  I picture the others watching in fear and envy as Peter swung that first leg over the edge.  I also am pretty certain that for the rest of their lives that night bothered them for the fact that they themselves did not have the faith to run to Jesus in the face of the storms and uncertainty.

Why do we struggle to do what we know we need to do and are called to do?  I got to a point today where it was just weighing on me too much and I had to discuss it at our small group tonight.  I had to relay the frustration, with emotion, that I have with myself for still not doing what I know I need to do or for doing what I know I shouldn't do.  What am I waiting for - someone else to do it?  It is time to stop just going through the motions and treading water.  It is time to step up and make something happen.  If I don't, I will realize one day that I let it all pass with no time to make up for it.  It comes down to a simple question of "Do you really believe?"  If the answer is yes (and believe me, it is!), then act on it - don't just sit around playing church.  It is time to BE the church.   Jesus is there, waiting - still waiting.

When I think of this issue, I always look back to when we made the big decision to leave our family in Oklahoma to move out to Tennessee in 2006.  For the first year, it was extremely tough being out here by ourselves.  We questioned our decision multiple times and came close to throwing it all away to move back home.  Even though we talked about that, I worried that if we made that move it would ultimately hurt our marriage in the long run by having some level of resentment for tossing aside a great job, etc. because we could not cope with the move.

After we had been here a year, we began going to Kingwood Church of Christ in Murfreesboro.  This church reminded us of the church home we had back in Broken Arrow (lots of young families and room for growth).  Everyone we met was very genuine and welcoming.  We began, rather quickly, to feel at home at this congregation and it was at that point that our experience in Tennessee began to make a turn for the better.  I still credit the church for possibly saving our family with this situation.  Let me say that again - I believe the Kingwood church saved our family.  The funny thing is, they didn't even know they were doing it.  They were just being themselves.  Imagine what we could do as a church if we actually knew what we wanted to do.  If we put it in our minds to get off the pews and make a difference we could be exactly what God is waiting for us to be.  There are people out there waiting for us to be just that.

Listen to the message of that song - It is time to have that faith it takes to get out of the boat.  No more internal battles of knowing what should be done but waiting around on someone else to take charge.  I don't want to regret not having the strength to stand.  It is too important to this short time on Earth God has blessed me with and for my children to learn from.  I am ready to stand now.  If you are reading this, please pray for me to follow through and finally take those steps that God is waiting for me to take.  I need this to become the man that God, Emily, and my children need me to be.